A Queer Expat’s Guide to Not Dying Abroad (Barely)

Jungle injuries, emotional damage, and a dog who’s way too into face kisses.

When I moved to Costa Rica, one of the top questions I got was:
“But like… what happens if you get hurt?”
Fair question. My friends know me well.

Look — I’m clumsy.
Like “I thought picking up surfing in my 40s was a good idea” clumsy.
Like “how did I fall again on this flat jungle trail?” clumsy.

And yet, here I am — queer, deaf, bruised, sunburned, mosquito-…